Dear Nicole

A letter I gave to my 11 year old niece who ran for Assistant Secretary in the Pupil Government and lost.

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Dear Nicole,

I heard from you Mama that you lost again in your bid to be your school's Assistant Secretary and that you cried and said you always lose, this being your second time in running for a post. Its okay to cry, its okay to lose. But don't dwell on the negative side, don't think that people do not like you, maybe the other person campaigned more than you did, or maybe the job was really not meant for you and that God has other plans for you.

I, too, experienced the same rejection when I was your age. You lost twice, I lost three times! When I was in 4th Grade, I ran for Assistant Auditor and lost to a 5th Grader, when I was in Grade 5, I ran again for Auditor this time, and lost once again. And finally, when I was in the 6th Grade, I ran for Governor, the highest position in Elementary school. Never mind that I lost the last two elections, it did not deterred me from aiming for the top. I ran again and lost the third time!

I can't remember if I cried, maybe I did cry during my sleep. I felt that nobody likes me and that I shouldn't have ran and wasted money. But you know what, Lolo and Lola were so supportive of me. We went to Kristine's Printing Press and had some bookmarks made at the last minute as part of my campaign material. I know they don't have extra cash then but they made 'utang' to the Valiente's so I can have my bookmarks. I even remembered bringing our Akai Cassette Tape to school so we can practice the dance for our program. I was with great people then, popular students were part of my team. But I still lost.

Losing for a third time was not good for my self esteem and I, too, questioned, why I did not win. It's really heartbreaking to experience these rejections at such a young age. But that is part of the game, someone has to lose and someone has to win. And because it wasn't our time to shine yet, we lost this battle. But I did not dwell on the bad side. I still helped the student government with their projects because that's what I really wanted to do!

You'll experience a lot more rejections, pains and heartaches. But don't use this to pull you down, instead, focus on the things you are good at, like drawing, singing. Soon, you'll realize that there are reasons why you didn't get the post.

When I was in Grade School, I have my own shares of disappointments:

* running for office and losing three times - even in highschool, i ran every year and was only successful during my 3rd and 4th year and then I became the President of the HS Student Council.

* joining the Children's choir because Lola knows Mrs Dacudag. When I was in Grade 5, the Children's Choir were going to join a contest in Butuan so they decided to have everyone audition for a part. Before that I thought I am a good singer but when I didn't passed the audition, I realized I am bad pala. I am sooo yabag mukanta until now. The good thing about it was that the students were away for 2 weeks and I was one of the few 'bright' ones left so I got good grades during the 3rd grading period and the others weren't able to catch up with me. From being a 5th Honorable mention in Grade 4, I got the silver medal in Grade 5 and went to become the Valedictorian in Grade 6 (because the First Honors in Grade 5 transferred to another school, hehe)

*wanting to study at Philippines Science High School after I took the entrance exam. I can't remember if I passed the Mindanao campus or not pero I think I was devastated coz I really wanted to go to school there. But you know what, when I was in College and met the people from the Mindanao Campus, I am glad I did not go there because you are required to study only Sciences in College which by that time I know I am not really good at.

There are a few others pero I can't remember them all.

I know you are talented --- you have a good voice, you're artistic! Maybe you can be an artist. =) Continue honing your talents, join contests, sing, dance, draw whenever you can. One day, you'll thank yourself for pursuing the things you love and being good at it.

Nic, disappointments will always be a part of life. You can't always win every game you play, every contest you join. But what makes the winning and the losing less heartbreaking is your journey. If you give it your best and enjoy the things that happen along the way, it won't matter na if you lose or win, what matters is that you had fun while you did it.

I can almost see myself in you. The adults see so much potential and pushes you to do this and that. Just let them for they know what's best for you. You'll thank them 10 years from now! hehehe.

We love you Nic and be good to your little brother and to your cousins okay? You're the big sister and big cousin now. You have to be a good example to them ha?

Love you.
Auntie Gagang